The Jungle – Chapter 1


Daria from MTV

Daria from MTV

Daria and crew go on a photo exploration to find a lost tribe in South America.

The Jungle – Part #1
Dr. Mike

Disclaimer: I once again thank Canadibrit for the use of her characters AP and Lynn that exist in her universe of Daria fanfiction. Just for the record, this planned series really mucks up her timeline so it should be taken as completely unofficial from her work. I came up with a story line that involved her
characters and the ones from the show and have just gone with it. I’m just here telling a story.

Another Disclaimer: There are a few choice words in the fic that follows. I believe they are used correctly and without overdoing them. Just be fair warned.

Dr Mike does an introduction:

The scene slowly lights up to see a female hand holding a pic resting on the strings of a lead electric guitar. After a beat, the hand starts strumming the strings with the unseen band behind her starting also. We hear Lynn Cullen with Mystic Spiral singing the Guns N Roses song, “Welcome to the Jungle.” The scene
changes to show the following with the music continuing in the background:

*Jake taking a picture of Daria, Lynn, Quinn, Vincent and Jane Lane, an unknown blond lady wearing a leather jacket with a large number of patches standing in front of a pile of boxes and other supplies.

*An over the top view of a large, green jungle. An old World War 2 type bomber appears under the camera heading away from the viewer. A large amount of smoke is coming from one of the engines and it appears the plane is having problems.

*Daria and Jane standing in front of a stone statue of a naked jungle female with big garbanzos. They appear to be standing in some type of underground tomb. After a beat, a disgusted looking Lynn reaches out to the other 2, grabs a hand from each and places them on the statue’s front.

*Lynn trying to use a cell phone. It appears that it doesn’t work as she throws it against a tree and it shatters. Vincent Lane, who is standing behind her, doesn’t look too happy about what Lynn just did.

*Daria, Jane, Lynn, Quinn, and Vincent Lane standing in a row staring open mouthed at something off screen above the camera. After a second, they all pull back and stare at Daria in shock.

*Daria, Jane, Lynn, and Quinn taking big bites out of some type of meat that has been cooked on a stick. Vincent Lane walks into view with the cooked head of a snake also on a stick. Daria, Lynn and Quinn turn quickly as they try to throw up the snake meat they have just eaten. Jane looks at the snake meat she has
with renewed interest and takes another bite.

*A view of Lynn and Mystic Spiral rocking on a stage with this song. (Gotta promote the band somehow, right?)

*All five standing in a hut trying to wake someone up who is lying on the ground. After a second, someone who looks like Trent pops up dressed in jungle clothing and looks at them completely lost.

*Lynn walking thru the jungle looking really, really disgusted. After her appears a line of young jungle people. They all have something purple on as clothing.

*Quinn sitting on a log in front of a roaring campfire. She looks like she has been crying and Daria is sitting besides her holding her hand trying to be supportive. Lynn, Jane, and Vincent Lane are all standing around Quinn yelling at her.

The song ends with us viewing the hand on the guitar again. As we fade out, we see the Canadibrit Title screen with Daria and Lynn’s heads in 2 connected circles. The circles pull back and we see in Daria script: “Daria in the Jungle. Part #1”

Ext. View: The Pizza King Restaurant. We see that it is very dark, raining hard, and very windy. Debris blows by the camera.

Ext. View: The Lawndale Strawberry. Still bad weather. Lightning lights up the screen once or twice.

Ext. View: Brittany’s House. Still very dark and very wet. A lawn chair blows by while lightning strikes somewhere off the screen.

Ext. View: The Movie House. We see the movie ads flapping in the wind while some of the letters appear to be just holding on.

Ext. View: The Morgendorffer’s Home. The weather has begun to calm down. We see a large number of tree limbs in the yard with water everywhere. The rain stops just as the sun begins to come up. We begin to hear birds chirp in the background. From the far distance we hear a chainsaw rev up.

Ext. View: Looking at the Morgendorffer’s front door. The camera lowers to show the bottom of the doorway. We can see debris up against the door. After a second, the door opens and we see the lower half of a young female dressed in a black skirt and heavy boots standing at the doorway. After a slurp of coffee, she kicks the debris out of the way and proceeds to walk down the path turning
once she reaches the sidewalk.

After a few minutes of following the legs as they walk along the sidewalk thru puddles and over tree limbs and other debris, she comes to a stop and turns to look off the screen. She waits until we hear a front door open off of screen. A loud sigh, some grumbling, a slurp of coffee and the sound of a body scraping
past an open door is heard from off screen followed by the door slamming shut. We wait as we hear the stomp-stomp of boots as they make their way thru the puddles and over the limbs that are all around. We see the lower half of another female body wearing a pair of heavy boots, black shorts and tights. She
walks by the first person and continues to walk thru the shot. She almost makes it off the screen until she is yanked back into the scene by the first female. The two exchange “Good Morning” greetings with slurps of coffee before they both continue down the sidewalk.

They continue down the street slurping coffee at random intervals stepping over limbs, mud and puddles all the way. They stop after a bit and both look off to the side out of view of the shot. Another door is heard opening and this time we hear two voices that give loud sighs and slurps. The sounds of two bodies
banging into each other as they try to exit thru the door at the same time is heard a couple of times followed by a few hard slaps and the cries of pain. After a bit, we hear the sound of one body scraping thru the door followed by another and the stomp of boots and puddles. Into the scene comes another female
wearing a black skirt like the first female but pleated and another pair of heavy boots. After her, another person wearing jeans and boots follows. Hellos and “Good Mornings” are exchanged again with coffee slurps. The group walks off after their morning rituals are finished.

After a few minutes of walking, the group stops on the edge of a curb. The camera pulls back slowly to show us…

Quinn dressed in an old sweat shirt and a black skirt, Stacy dressed in another heavy sweatshirt with black shorts and tights, Tiffany dressed in a sweater and jeans, and Sandi in a pleated black skirt and another sweater.

Quinn: I can’t believe that Mr. Caldwell is making us work together as a team to help clean up the school.

Tiffany: (Slowly.) That is so wrong.

Sandi: Why Quinn, just because you deserted the Fashion Club and your friends just so you could date that lousy geek doesn’t mean you can look down on us. I mean I am still the President of the Fashion Club at Lawndale High. (1)

Tiffany: (Slowly.) That is so wrong.

The other three females all look at Tiffany in shock that she said such a thing as she takes a slurp of coffee.

Tiffany: …to think we’re still together.

Stacy lets out a big yawn as Quinn, Tiffany, and Sandi slurp some more coffee.

Sandi: What’s the matter, Stacy? Did you not get enough beauty sleep last night or did the loud lightning keep you awake as you hid under your bed.

Stacy: (Looking uncomfortable.) EEP! (Beat.) Well with all the wind and rain from hurricane Canadibrit last night, I didn’t sleep too well.

Quinn: Don’t worry about it, Stacy. I don’t think any of us slept well last night.

Quinn glares at Sandi for a second daring her to say something. Sandi returns the glare but says nothing. They go back to slurping their coffee. Aft
er a second, the traffic light that is off scene changes and the four start across the intersection. We now see Daria walking up from behind. She watches the former Fashion Club off screen as we hear a large truck slide thru the intersection followed by a loud splash of water.


Daria smirks at the former Fashion Club and turns to go off in the opposite direction but suddenly sneezes into a tissue. She blows her nose and walks off the screen.

Ext. View: Lynn’s house. We see Daria walking up the sidewalk towards it sneezing and snuffling all the way. At Lynn’s driveway, she turns onto the property and makes her way to the front door. Once she reaches it, she rings the doorbell. It still doesn’t sound like it should but it works. She waits a few seconds to have Lynn pull open the door. She doesn’t look all that awake as she is still dressed in her bedtime attire of a purple tee shirt, white and black checkered cotton shorts, and purple socks. She stands there half asleep and teeters a bit. They look at each other, Lynn with half closed eyes until Daria suddenly sneezes all over Lynn.

Lynn: (Well that woke her up some.) You came all the way over here to sneeze on me, didn’t you?

Daria: (Snuffling.) Um, no. I’m actually here to practice lines for the play.

Lynn: (She looks down at where Daria sneezed on her.) And, I’m glad to see you also.

Daria: (Still snuffling.) Um, sorry about that.

Lynn: (Looks up at Daria.) Your cold still have you down?

Daria: More like it has me up all night.

Lynn: I know that feeling.

Daria: You’ve been up all night? Why?

Lynn: (She hangs her head.) Please kill me now.

Daria: (Looks upset.) Lynn, that’s not funny. We were concerned about you.

Lynn: (Looking up again.) Um, sorry?

Daria: It’s ok.

Lynn: Want to see why I’ve been up all night?

Lynn moves to the side of the doorway and makes a motion to let Daria inside. Daria shrugs and walks into the house.

Int. View: Lynn’s House. It’s still pretty trashed but it appears Jane has been working on it some. AP and Jane sit of the floor in front of what remains of the couch. They are glued to what is showing on the television. The sound of a space battle overlaid with heroic sounding dialog is heard. Tapes, cassette
boxes, bowls with leftover popcorn, and cookie dough wrappers litter the floor. AP and Jane do not notice the two girls as they step into the room.

Daria: What are they watching?

Lynn: Episodes of Babylon 5. Another one of AP’s favorite series.

Daria: Have they been like this all night?

Lynn: All bloody night. (Doing a fair imitation of AP.) “We’ll just watch one episode, Purple Peril and then we’ll have dinner.” “They’re only 47 minutes long.” “It will be fun.” (Scoff.) Be fun my ass.

Daria: Dinner?

Lynn: They started last night around six and been going strong all night. I wound up eating most of the pizza myself.

Daria: (Thinking.) It’s a little after seven now…

Lynn: (Slowly.) 15 episodes. 15 bloody episodes.

Daria: Why couldn’t you just go upstairs and get some sleep?

Lynn: Jane finally got around to painting my room and I can’t stand the fumes in there. Plus we moved everything out of there and you’ve seen the rest of the house. (Beat.) Want some coffee? I put on a pot a couple of episodes ago. There’s even some cold pizza left over from last night if you’re hungry.

Daria: That’s ok. Dad can’t remember if it’s feed a cold or starve one so he’s playing it save and stuffing me full. Coffee would be good though. Quinn got the last of it this morning before she left.

Lynn: I’ll get you a cup. (And she walks off to the kitchen.)

Daria looks down at AP and Jane. They still haven’t acknowledged her. We see AP is dressed in a black Babylon 5 tee shirt, Dexter shorts and white socks. Jane wears her normal black tee shirt and red shorts. Daria smirks and leans over the back of the couch towards AP.

Daria: AP? Bill Gates is on the phone. He’s retiring and wants you to take over the company and run it for him.

AP: (Not paying any attention to Daria.) That’s nice, Purple Peril. We’ll be coming along for dinner in a little bit.

Daria pulls back with an interesting look on her face. She shrugs and leans over to Jane.

Daria: Jane? I’ve decided that I just have to tell Trent about my undying love for him. Will you help set it up for me?

Jane: (Not paying any attention to Daria either.) Sure Trent. (Jane picks up an empty cookie dough wrapper and hands it to Daria without looking.) Could you get me some more coffee while you’re up?

Daria pulls back with the cookie dough wrapper in her hand, looking at Jane. She turns away from Jane to discover Lynn standing there with a smirk and a pair of mugs.

Daria: It’s not like that.

Lynn hands Daria a mug while still standing there with a smirk on her face.

Daria: …at all.

Lynn’s smirk gets a little bigger.

Daria: …Oh, hush.

Lynn: I didn’t say a word.

The tape in the VCR ends with the trailer for the next episode and a burst of static. Still glued to the television, Jane reaches out a hand to AP.

Jane: AP, put in another tape, please.

AP pulls himself away from the screen and starts going thru the tape boxes near him.

Lynn: No! (She hands Daria her own mug and walks over to stand in front of the television. They finally notice her.)

Jane: (Stretching a bit.) Oh, hi Lynn.

AP: (Rubbing his tummy and stretching also.) Hey, is dinner ready? I’m getting kind of hungry.

Lynn: (Annoyed.) Dinner?

AP and Jane nod hopefully.

Lynn: (More annoyed.) Dinner?

They nod again but with building confusion.

Lynn: Do you two have any idea what time it is?

Jane: Um…

AP: Around seven-ish?

Lynn: (To Daria.) Do you want to tell them or should I?

Daria: It’s after seven in the morning, guys.

AP and Jane look at Daria, at each other, at Lynn who nods and then out a window.

AP: Um, the sun is up, Jane.

Jane: That would mean we’ve been sitting here for (Thinks for a second.) nine hours.

Lynn: Try thirteen. (2)

AP and Jane look at Lynn, at each other, and then at Daria who nods. They look back at each other.

AP: Dibs on the bathroom.

Jane: Like Hell.

They get up very quickly, stumble over and around the couch, and race upstairs nearly knocking over Daria in the process. Lynn and Daria watch them go. We hear a door slamming from off screen followed by some pounding on the door.

Jane: (From off the screen.) Andrew Philip McIntyre! Haven’t you ever heard of ladies first? (Some more pounding on the bathroom door follows.)

Daria: (Walking over to where Lynn is standing and handing Lynn’s mug back to her.) Do you think we should make them breakfast?

Lynn: (Looking towards the staircase where we can still hear some pounding.) You can if you want to. Right now, I would probably either poison it or throw it at them.

They walk off to the kitchen together.

Int. View: Lynn’s kitchen. Daria is standing by the stove cooking something while Lynn leans against the counter top eating a slice of cold pizza. They both show signs of having been hit with flour and trying to wipe it off of themselves.

Daria: I can’t believe you were serious when you suggested throwing their breakfast at them, Lynn.

Lynn: Throw it. Drop it. It’s the same thing. (Looks at something on the floor.) I guess I’ll have to clean up the kitchen sometime today. (She kicks at something on the floor.)

Jane and AP stumble into the kitchen. They are beginning to look worn out as their all nighter is beginning to catch up on them. They look at the floor, at Lynn who shrugs, and then sit down at the table. Daria brings over a pair of coffee mugs for them, which they happily accept and start to chug. Daria returns to the stove slipping on the floor some as she goes by.

AP: (After finishing off his chug.) Um, Purple Peril…

Lynn: Don’t worry about it, Maverick. I know how some science fiction series just gets a hold of you. (Beat.) Just next time let me sleep thru it, ok?

AP: Um, sure.

Jane: (Finishing hers.) So what is everyone doing today?

Lynn: Well, it looks like I have to clean up the house some. (She kicks something on the floor again.)

AP: I’ll help, Purple Peril.

Jane: (With the beginnings of a yawn.) I have to go home and get some sleep.

The other three turn to her.

Jane: (Mid stretch.) What?

Daria turns around with two plates of pancakes, which she places in front of AP and Jane. They look at each other and grin. Daria turns back to the stove and starts making some more pancakes.

Jane: But where in my contact does it say that I have to eat the same food for breakfast everyday for three years?

AP: Paragraph 47, subsection 19, clause 9a. You can find it in the index under S.U.A.E.I.

Daria: (Turning around to look at them.) S.U.A.E.I.?

Lynn: (Holding her head in her hands.) Please let’s not start doing movie lines to each other.

AP and Jane together with grins: Shut up and eat it. (3)

AP and Jane both grin at Daria who clearly doesn’t have a clue as to what is going on. Lynn just shakes her head sadly. Lynn picks her head up and stares at AP.

Lynn: Please let’s not make this a repeat of what happened that time we sat up and watched a movie marathon?

Daria: (Turning from the stove with a plate in her hand eating a rolled up pancake by hand.) What happened then?

Lynn: Back when we were eight, AP came over with some movie series about killer tomatoes or something.

AP: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, one of the classics. (4)

Lynn: Anyway, I talked him into watching the Star Wars Trilogy instead. Of course that was a mistake.

AP: (Remembering with a grin.) It was fun though.

Lynn: Two days later, AP drags me out of bed at three in the morning to help him redecorate the school. He had done up a huge banner that said the “Death Star” that went over the school sign.

AP: Which they took off as soon as they saw it. (Beat.) I still have it somewhere. I kept it after I found it in the trash later that day.

Lynn: (Beginning to count on her fingers.) Bumper stickers on the school busses that said, “My other vehicle is a Imperial Star Destroyer.”

AP: Well they were the evil empire.

Lynn: (Another finger.) Huge stickers on the hoods of the teacher’s cars of Stormtroopers.

AP: Some of them looked like Stormtroopers actually.

Lynn: (Another finger.) Every time someone used the intercom, that theme at the end of the first movie would play in the background.

AP: Took them a week to find out how I did that. (Beat.) Had visitors from the state hear it also. (Shrug.) They liked it.

Lynn: (Another finger.) “Yoda lives!” written on all of the chalkboards.

AP: (Shrug.) Something simple.

Lynn: (Finishing first hand.) Signs above each classroom saying “Trash Compactor”, “Tractor Beam Control”, “Holding Cell”, “Escape Pod,”…

AP: The Bathrooms got the “Escape Pod” signs. (Beat.) Seemed fitting.

Jane: I would have gone for the fire exits with those.

AP: They got the “This way to the Rebel Alliance.” signs. (Beat.) Some of them actually tried the doors too.

Lynn: (New hand.) Painted all the janitor’s mop buckets to look like R2-D2 units.

AP: I was going to do the trashcans but there were too many of those.

Lynn: (Finger number 2.) Painted their mop handles to look like light sabers.

AP: Quick and easy.

Lynn: (Next finger.) Replaced the pot of African violets in the Principle’s office with a bust of Obi-Wan Kenobi. (5)

AP: I hated those flowers from day one.

Daria: What did you do with the flowers?

Lynn: (Looking at AP.) Yes, what did you do with them? I don’t remember.

AP: Remember when we buried that teacher’s car in the cemetery? That’s the flowers we planted at the head of the plot.

Lynn: (Minor shock.) You kept those flowers alive for that long?

AP: Nah, I just gave them to my mother to take care of. I did get a method out of it for the book. (An even bigger grin comes over AP’s face as he leans towards Lynn.) Want to tell them what you did afterwards? (6)

Lynn turns a bit red and turns towards the refrigerator. We hear some mumbling as she opens it.

Jane: (With a small smile.) What was that Lynn? We didn’t quite hear you.

Lynn turns back to the group with a slightly red face.

Lynn: I suggested to the cheerleaders that they should adopt the honey bun hairdo from the first movie. I didn’t say it was from that specific movie, just that it was from one that was popular. They actually believed me and next thing we knew, all the popular girls were wearing their hair like that.

AP: (Slight grin.) Including one girl who’s hair was so short, she showed up one day with actual honey buns taped on the sides of her head. (Beat.) The class hamster loved her that day. We had to pull it off of her head.

Daria: I thought the hamster had died back when you two were six.

Lynn: This was the replacement.

AP: “Crazy Nutso” we called it. (Beat.) Had this annoying habit of breaking out of its cage and peeing under the teacher’s desk. (7)

Lynn: (Thinking back.) It actually went well until a local rag showed up, took pictures, and wrote an article.

AP: Called them Jabba’s little angels. (Beat.) Didn’t go over too well.

They all look at each other for a second. Jane and AP crack up while Daria and Lynn stand there and smirk.

Ext View: A Lawndale sidewalk. It has gotten brighter but there still is a large amount of debris and water around. The wind still blows some. Jane, now fully dressed, and Daria come into the scene walking down the sidewalk.

Jane: (After a yawn.) Damn, I need some sleep.

Daria: You’re the one who stayed up all night.

Jane: Yea, but it was worth it. I can’t believe something on normal television can be filled with so much…

Daria: (Suggesting.) Crap?

Jane: (In awe.) No, imagery.

Jane walks in a daze for a second and then shakes her head.

Jane: I wish Trent was awake this early to come pick me up.

Daria: Is he even in town? I thought he and the band went out of town for the weekend.

Jane: They should have gotten in this morning early. They’re probably all downstairs in the basement asleep. (Beat.) Hopefully they put the Tank in park this time and didn’t let it roll down the street.

Jane lets out another big yawn.

Daria: You better stay awake, Lane. I’m not carrying you home.

Jane: Why not?

Daria: You’re almost a grown up now, Janey. You can handle walking all by yourself.

Jane gets a smirk on her face and tried to hop on Daria’s back.

Jane: But mommy, I want a piggy back ride!

Daria: (Fighting her off.) What the Hell are you doing? Get off of me.

Jane: But mommy, I want one
now. You never give me what I want and I want a pigg…

A car horn interrupts the girls and they both look up. We see a taxicab with someone in the back seat pass on the street going in the same direction as the girls. Jane does a double take.

Jane: Dad?

Daria: (Surprised.) Your father?

Jane: Looks like him. (Beat.) I wonder what he’s doing in town.

Daria: You weren’t expecting him?

Jane: No, I haven’t seen him for a while now. Not since the whole family was in town. Last time I heard, he was on some island out in the Caribbean.

Daria: Think you can stay awake long enough to see what he’s doing here?

Jane: Yea, sure. I’m wondering what he’s doing in town anyway.

They walk off the screen together.

Ext. View: The Lane’s home. We see Daria and Jane walk up together to the front door just as the taxicab pulls out of the driveway and drives off. The Tank is also in the driveway.

Int. View: The Lane Living room. A couple of suitcases and camera cases are piled up on the floor and couch. We see Vincent poking his head into various doors and looking for family members. He opens the basement door and we can hear very loud snoring coming from down below. He closes the door softly with a small smile on his face. The front door opens to let Jane and Daria in.

Jane: Well, hi Dad.

Vincent: Hi Jane. I didn’t see you when I came in. (Vincent gives his daughter a hug which Jane returns a little stiffly.)

Jane: I was over at a friend’s house. Dad, you remember my friend, Daria?

Vincent: Yes, Hello, Daria. (He holds out a hand.)

Daria: (She actually shakes his hand.) Hello, Mr. Lane.

Vincent: Please call me Vincent, Daria.

Daria: Ok, (Beat.) Vincent.

Vincent: That goes for you also, Jane.

Jane: (A tad shocked.) Ok, (Beat.) Vincent.

Vincent: Any idea who is in our basement?

Daria: Who or what does it sound like?

Vincent: (Thinking for a second.) A bunch of badly tuned chainsaws.

Jane: (Nodding.) That would be Trent and his band. Well most of the band anyway. I think they got in late this morning.

Vincent: Hmmm, I thought one of my daughters had taken up using chainsaws for artwork again. (Beat.) I tried calling the house after I got off the plane hoping someone would be able to pick me up from the airport. I guess he hadn’t gotten in yet. (8)

Daria: Either that or he was probably already asleep.

Jane: They don’t normally get up before two in the afternoon.

Vincent takes a look at the door.

Vincent: (Mumbles under his breath.) We’ll see to that later on.

Jane: (Making light of the subject.) Dad, he’s been doing it for years.

Vincent: (Changing the subject, he takes a step back to look at Jane.) Getting ready to go out into the real world, Jane?

Jane: (Shrugs.) Sure, after another year of high school, four years of art school or college, maybe some time in an art colony.

Vincent: Have you made any plans for this summer yet?

Jane thinks for a second and looks at Daria who shrugs.

Jane: Not really. Hang out with my friends, paint a little, deal with the heat, shoot up seven-elevens. Typical teen age summer.

Vincent gets that smile on his face that most fathers do when trying to make something sound good to their children.

Vincent: How about a job with me?

Jane lights up a bit at the news.

Jane: A photo expedition? Where would we be going?

Vincent: I’m going with a team to study a lost tribe in South America. It’s a pretty full team but I need an assistant to help with the photo equipment. It might also be interesting to have a painter along.

Jane looks again at Daria who face is completely blank.

Jane: Um, sure I guess. Maybe some experience would look good on the old high school transcript.

Daria: Jane, I just remembered I have something to do this morning. I need to get going.

Daria turns abruptly and heads out the door, closing it behind her.

Jane: (Said to the closed front door.) Um, sure Daria. I’ll see you later.

Vincent: She’s a quiet sort, isn’t she?

Jane: (Shrugs.) Something must be on her mind. I’m sure I’ll hear about it later.

Vincent looks at the basement door.

Vincent: Then lets see if maybe we can give your brother and his friends something to wake up by?

Jane and Vincent both smile at each other as Vincent open the basement door and they go down the stairs. We hear shouts of “Andale andale, arriba arriba!” and “Police!” in bad Mexican accents followed by the yells and shouts of the band as they are awaken. (9)

Ext. View: Pizza King. There’s still some debris lying around the parking lot.

Int. View: Pizza King. Daria, AP, and Lynn sit at the table with a nearly untouched pizza pie between them. They don’t look too happy. A pair of buckets sit on the floor collecting dripping water from the ceiling.

Lynn: The summer.

Daria: Yup.

AP: The whole summer.

Daria: Yup.

All three let out a sigh, bite a slice of pizza and chew in unison.

Lynn: The whole frigging summer.

Daria: Yup.

AP: When we get out of school.

Daria: Yup.

All three let out another sigh, bite off some more pizza and chew again in unison.

Lynn: Taking photos.

Daria: Yup.

AP: Out in the damn wilderness.

Daria: Yup.

All three let out another sigh, bite off some more pizza and chew once again in unison.

We hear a sliding door open and Jane comes bouncing in. (Well, bouncing for her.) She slides into the booth, grabs a slice, and quickly downs it. She starts on another slice before noticing that no one has said anything to her. In fact they are just sitting there watching the pizza slices on their plates.

Jane: (A bit concerned with a hunk of cheese pizza hanging from her mouth.) Um, hi guys?

They all look up at her as she chews and swallows.

Jane: (Still concerned but not enough not to grab Lynn’s soda and take a long swig out of it.) Um, something the matter?

AP: Daria just told us that your going away for the entire summer.

Jane: (She waves him off.) It’s not that bad.

Daria: We were looking forward to doing stuff as a group though. (Beat.) It’s not like we’ll have a whole lot of time next year.

Jane: Guys, it’s only for a month. I’ll be back and will still have time to spend with you.

The group perks up a bit at the news.

Jane: Plus Dad said I could offer positions to my friends if they wanted to come along. (Beat.) It turns out this expedition isn’t as well staffed as he was led to believe.

Lynn: What could we do for it?

Jane: Well, there are openings for some writers and stuff. (Beat.) He’s already presold his photos to International Geographic. Maybe you two could write the article that goes along with them. (Jane then looks at AP.) Plus he can always use another technical person. (Beat.) It pays good money also.

AP, Lynn, and Daria sit there looking at each other.

Lynn: For a month.

Daria: Yup.

AP: Doing something remotely interesting.

Daria: Yup.

Jane: With our friends and away from our parents.

The four look at each other and smiles appear on their faces. They do a clinking of soda cups and Jane’s pizza slice.

All: Yup.

They get into the act of some serious pizza eating.

Commercial Hell Number 2: The scene is various rooms around a high end hotel. All the characters are wearing high end rich clothes. We see Daria slap AP, Lynn slap AP, Jane slap Daria, AP looks like he’s about ready to slap Lynn but can’t bring himself around to do it, etc. As we fade out, we see the Canadibrit
Title screen with Daria and Lynn’s heads in 2 connected circles. The circles pull back and we see in Daria script: “Daria in Cynic Beach.”

Ext. View: Lawndale High School. We see the remains of a large vinyl sign attached to the school sign. It flaps in the wind to show what appears t
o be “The Death” – something. The area seems to be clear of debris and trash.

Int. View: A Lawndale hallway. We see the writing in Daria script “A week later…” before it fades out. Daria is leaning up against a locker drinking a cup of coffee while Jane is at her locker working her coffee machine. After a second, Lynn walks up at Jane’s locker. Before Lynn can shove Jane out of the way, Jane has handed Lynn a mug of coffee. Lynn takes it with a grunt of thanks and starts to drink it down. Jane turns away from her locker with another mug. All three stand there for a second drinking down their morning brew. (10)

Daria: Only a few more weeks left.

Jane: And then we’re out of this hell hole.

Lynn: (Slight smirk.) And head towards a third world hell hole.

Lynn takes a swig while Daria and Jane stand there thinking about her words. After a second they shrug and take their own swigs. AP walks up to the group and starts banging his head against the lockers. The three girls look at him over their coffee mugs.

Lynn: Um, good morning?

AP: No, it’s not. (Beat.) I can’t go on the expedition.

The three look at each other and then at AP.

Daria: Why not?

AP stands upright after a second and turns around.

AP: My folks have decided that we should all go camping this summer. For me though instead of spending it pretending to be enjoying myself with my parental units, I get to play camp councilor.

Jane: Well, that’s not so bad…

AP: It gets worse. I’m a councilor at some camp that’s called “It Sucks to Cry.” (11)

The three look at each other and then at AP.

Jane: (Smirk.) Well, that’s going to suck.

Daria: Bad pun, Lane.

Lynn: I can think of worse things to say myself.

AP: (With a slight smirk.) I’m sure you can, Purple Peril. (Beat.) It gets worse though. Mr. O’Neill will be there also as a camp councilor.

Lynn: (She thinks for a second.) Nope, I just topped myself.

AP: Thank you for your sympathy.

Daria: (Looking downcast also.) Um, guys. Helen is giving me trouble also.

Jane and Lynn are now looking annoyed.

Jane: Damn.

Lynn: Why didn’t you tell us earlier?

Daria: Because I was hoping she would change her mind after thinking about it.

Jane: Maybe my dad, um, Vincent will be able to talk to her.

Lynn: Maybe that would help with AP’s folks also.

AP: Not a chance. Dad has his heart set on his son doing something worth wild for a change.

Jane: And shooting photos of a lost tribe in South America isn’t something worth wild?

AP: (Shrugs.) Not to him.

Daria: It might with mine. It wouldn’t hurt.

A close up of Helen’s face.

Helen: I will not have my daughter go tromping off into the woods with her friends and a man I barely even know hundreds of miles away from home.

The camera pulls back and we see Helen, Jake, Vincent, and Daria sitting around the Morgendorffer’s kitchen table. Jane walks into the scene carrying a tray of coffee mugs which she begins to hand out, first to Jake.

Jake: Gee, thanks Jane.

Jane: (Going around the table.) No problem. Just make sure you tip well else you get to have Gertrude next time as your waitress.

Jake looks worried and begins to pull out his wallet. Jane starts heading back to Jake with her hand out.

Helen: Jake, she was only kidding.

Jake puts his wallet away. Jane does a “oh, darn” motion with her arm and moves to stand behind Daria. Daria just smirks.

Vincent: Mrs. Morgendorffer…

Helen: (Big lawyer grin on her face.) Please, Vincent. We’ve already talked about this. Call me Helen.

Jane’s itching to say something but Daria stops her with a look before she starts. Helen notices this also.

Vincent: Mrs. Morg… Helen. Think of it as an adventure for your daughter. A chance for her to get some real world experience doing something exciting.

Helen: A chance for her to go off to some god forsaken third world country down in South America where the local government official is some chubby Mexican wearing a pair of belts of bullets across his chest, a revolt happens every six months, and there are poisonous snakes and tigers behind every corner.

Daria: Mom, it’s not like that in South America.

Vincent: Helen, your daughter will be traveling with a fairly large group of experienced explorers. We’ve done this before.

Helen: Have you ever lost one of these experienced explorers in the past?

Vincent: Helen.

Helen: Have you?

Vincent: (Beat.) Yes, we have. It is a dangerous trip but so is driving down the freeway or trying to cross the street.

Daria: You let me go to England with my friends.

Jake: That’s right honey, you did.

Helen: (Raising her voice at him.) Jake! (Back to her normal lawyer tone.) That was something different, Daria. You were traveling to a civilized country on a normal jet plane.

Daria: Mom, we will be with an experience bunch of guides.

Vincent: Helen, some of these guys are the best in the business.

Helen: Guys? Are they all guys?

Vincent: (Taken aback.) Um, most of them are guys. But there will be women on the team as well.

Helen: Just not that many, right?

Jane is perking up at this bit also. Daria notices this.

Jane: This is beginning to sound better and better all the time.

Daria: (Knowing she has to get Jane out of there before she ruins it for her.) You know, maybe we should leave our folks alone to talk this out.

Vincent: Good idea.

Jake stands up and walks over to Jane with a hand out.

Jake: Thanks again for the coffee.

Jane looks at him weirdly, shrugs and then shakes his hand. For a minute there, you can almost see a look of surprise go across her face. Jane and Daria walk out of the room.

Ext. View: Outside of the Morgendorffer’s house. Daria is closing the front door while Jane stands on the step.

Daria: Good going, loud mouth. I wonder if even your father will let you go.

They start walking down the path and the sidewalk.

Jane: (Shrugs.) He has to. Trent told me after Vincent went to the photo lab for supplies that this is a family tradition or something. Every Lane child gets to go off with one of their folks on a special outing. Trent went with Mom to a pottery retreat.

Daria: What did he say about it?

Jane: Not much. (Beat.) He probably slept through most of it.

Daria: So what are we going to do now?

Jane: Pizza?

Daria: I’m broke.

Jane: I’ve got money.

Daria: (Surprised.) Where from? I heard you trying to borrow some from AP yesterday.

Jane: (With a slight smile.) Um, your father slipped me a bill when he shook my hand as we left. (She holds a folded up bill in her hand.) Cool, it’s a fifty.

Daria: Arcade?

Jane: Sounds good to me.

They walk off together.

Int. View: Daria’s Room. Daria stands there looking at her closet. Jane is sitting on the bed fiddling with a camera.

Daria: What’s the camera?

Jane: A simple one Vincent gave me to practice on. (She points the camera at Daria to take her picture.) Smile.

Daria, of course, doesn’t smile and the finger she extends towards the camera doesn’t either. Jane, of course, takes the photo and starts looking at the camera again.

Jane: So how did Vincent finally convince your mom to let you go?

Daria: I would like to think it had something to do with the International Geographic article that I would be writing or the culture we would be investigating. Maybe the lure of traveling to a foreign country.

Jane and Daria just look at each other and then shake their hands.

Daria: I’m sure though it was the money I would be earning that finally changed her mind.

Jane: (Getting disgusted with her camera.) But why do we have to bring Quinn along with us?

Daria: So they won’t have to put up with her all summer.

Jane: (With a smirk.) Eithe
that or they want to spend all summer making lov…

Daria: (Interrupting.) Lane, don’t go there.

Jane: Too late.

Daria: (Turning away from Jane.) Hmm, what to pack? What to pack?

Jane: Writing material?

Daria: Vincent told me that that would be supplied.

Jane: Books.

Daria goes over to her bookcase, selects a few, and places them in her backpack.

Jane: What about that stuff dad sent over? Your skirts won’t be that useful in the jungle.

Daria: You mean this? (She pulls a beige jumpsuit with lots of pockets out of the closet.) I guess that would be a good idea. (She adds the clothes to a pile on the bed.) Maybe I should bring all those sets along with me. (She adds a small bunch of clothes to the pile.)

Jane: I wonder what Quinn is packing?

Daria looks at Jane with a dirty look.

Int. View: Quinn’s Room. Quinn is standing in front of her mirrors with Tiffany and Stacy. Quinn is holding up a fashionable jumpsuit in front of her to see how it looks. Stacy is sorting lipsticks on the bed while Tiffany is investigating how a lipstick can go up and down in its case.

Stacy: (Seeing the jumpsuit in Quinn’s hands.) I think the purple scarf would go good with that one.

Tiffany: (The lipstick is up and out.) Cool.

Quinn: I don’t know, Stacy. I already have clothes for the purple scarf and the tan boots. Maybe I can use this one for the light blue scarf.

Tiffany: (She closes the lipstick.) The lipstick goes home.

Stacy: What about an outfit in case you meet some cute guy while you’re in the jungle?

Tiffany: (She opens the lipstick.) The lipstick comes out.

Quinn: Tiffany, please don’t ruin that lipstick. That’s one of my favorites.

As Tiffany turns to look at Quinn, she doesn’t notice that the lipstick has fallen out of its case and on to the ground.

Tiffany: Ok.

Quinn: You know I’m dating Ted now, Stacy. I can’t cheat on him.

Tiffany is trying to open the lipstick and is confused.

Stacy: How much stuff are they letting you bring?

Tiffany: (Looking down the empty tube.) Hello?

Quinn: They haven’t told me…

Tiffany: (Calling down the empty tube.) Hel-lo?

Quinn: But we’re going to be gone a month…

Tiffany: (Shaking the empty tube now.) HEL-LO?

Quinn: I guess I just have to be ready for anything.

Stacy and Quinn just look at each other and start packing as much as they into Quinn’s luggage.

Ext. View: The Lawndale International Airport viewed from the front. It is early morning. We see taxicabs coming and going in front of the terminal, a loudspeaker telling someone to pick up the white courtesy telephone, and a plane taking off in the distance.

Ext. View: A large, open hanger located somewhere in the rear of the airport. We can see the same terminal as above in the background. After a second, we see Helen’s SUV pull up to the building.

Int. View: Inside the hanger looking out thru the large door. We see Helen’s SUV pull up and stop near the hanger door. The Morgendorffer’s pile out and gather up the girl’s luggage. After a bit, they walk together as a group into the hanger. There’s a large amount of luggage in the collection. (Two backpacks, 6 suitcases, a pair of makeup cases, what looks like a hatbox, etc.) Daria and Quinn are dressed in their jungle attire from the previous scenes while the parents are dressed casually. Quinn has a scarf tied around her neck and is made up. Jane walks up to the group holding a clipboard before they can come into the hanger very far. She is also wearing her jungle attire. We can hear what sounds like the moving of boxes in the background.

Jane: Isn’t that quite a lot of luggage for the two of you?

Jake: Gee Quinn, it does seem like a bit much for this trip…

Quinn: But Dad-dy! I just packed the bare essentials like Jane’s father told us to.

Daria: (As an aside to Jane.) Yea, the essentials for a troop of supermodels and their stand-ins.

Jane smirks. From a distance, we hear the sound of a powerful car. The group turns as we see the Mercedes pull up to the hanger door. After shutting off the car, AP and Lynn climb out with a pair of backpacks. They walk over to the group. In addition to the backpacks, AP has a camera hung around his neck.

Lynn: Well, we’re here. Where is the mayor, the marching bands, and well wishers to see us off?

Vincent walks up to the group from off screen. He takes a look over everyone.

Vincent: Good morning.

Lynn: You don’t look like the mayor.

Vincent: Sorry, no.

Vincent looks over the amount of luggage and is taken aback.

Vincent: Whose is all that?

The group as one points to Quinn.

Quinn: Well, you said only take the bare essentials. Everything I needed, I packed.

Vincent sighs.

Daria: (Changing the subject. She looks out of the screen past Vincent.) So is that how we’re getting there?

The groups turns as one to look at the back of the hanger. While the camera is moving, we hear the following line:

Vincent: Yes, that’s our transportation.

The camera turns to show us a large old style bomber sitting there surrounded by piles of supplies and other materials. The group slowly drifts into the scene with most of them awed by the sight of the plane. The plane is without paint and looks almost brand new. The metal gleams. We see a few workmen in the area loading freight into the plane. A tarp covers the nose of the craft.

Jake: Cool. I wish I was going in that plane.

AP: That’s an old B-24 Liberator, isn’t it? (He gets a few surprised looks from the cast.)

Vincent: That’s right. One of the foundations I work with picked it up a few years back in the South Pacific and fixed it up. They loaned it to us so we could ferry all the supplies down to the site. (12)

A young, blond woman approaches the group from under the plane where she has been talking with the crew about loading the plane. She is wearing a brown leather bomber jacket with tons of patches on it, tight beige slacks, a flight captain’s hat and heavy, leather boots. She snaps her gum waiting to be introduced. Lynn looks up all of the sudden with a slight look of horror.

Lynn: (Recognizing the blond.) Oh, you have to be kidding me.

Daria: Huh?

Lynn: You remember at the table read Dr Mike was going on and on about the one joke he’s wanted to use for months now.

Jane: (Thinking.) Yea. He said something about wanting to use it since he started writing these fanfic pieces.

AP: You don’t mean?…

Lynn: This must be it.

The blond comes up to the group with a hand out.

The Blond: Hi, I’m Mary Sue…

Daria: (Shaking her hand.) Well, that wasn’t so bad.

Mary Sue: (Big grin on her face as she moves to shake Lynn’s hand.) And, boy, am I a character. (13)

The four stand there for a second letting this sink in, look at each other and then shrug.

While they shake hands, Jane has drifted over to the nose of the plane which is covered with a large drop cloth.

Jane: Can we finally see what the nose artwork is?

Vincent: Yes, Jane.

Jane pulls the drop cloth off and we see a well portioned female body with the yellow and orange wings of a butterfly behind her. All the painted lady is wearing is the painted colors of the butterfly’s wings. The words ‘The Butterfly” are written across the painting. Jane steps back in awe.

Jake: (Also awed.) Dammit, I wish I was going.

Helen: (A tad upset at the adult nature of the artwork.) Um, isn’t that a little out of place for such an expedition with younger members, Mr. Lane.

Vincent: Helen I told you once, please call me Vincent. (Beat.) And they’re all almost adults. They probably have already enjoyed the pleasures of sex.

Needless to say everyone turns red on hearing this. Well, maybe everyone except for Jake who has now dug out his camera and is looking at the plane.

Jake: OK, I want to t
ake a picture before everyone takes off. (Laughs a bit.) You hear that Helen? I made a joke.

Helen: (Sighs.) Just take the damn picture, Jake.

Jake: (looking around.) Hmm, where can I take it?

Jane: (Still in somewhat of awe.) How about under the nose art?

Jake: Hey, yeah! Everyone get under the butterfly.

Vincent, Quinn, Jane, Daria, Lynn and Mary Sue gather under the plane’s nose. Jake and AP stand off to the side with their cameras. After AP helps Jake with his, they stand ready to take the photos.

Vincent, Jane, Quinn and Mary Sue have grins on their faces while the other two just stand there with plain looks on their faces.

Jake: Say ‘Cheese!”

Daria and Lynn together: Like Hell I will.

The rest of the group does so and AP and Jake snap their pictures.

Ext. View: Helen and Jake standing by Helen’s SUV. Off in the distance, we see the bomber lift off from the runway. Helen waits for a second looking at the plane. She turns to the car to get in but realizes that Jake is still staring at where the plane was in the sky. She walks back to him and grabs an arm.

Helen: (In a soft voice which is strange for her.) Hey, are you awake?

Jake: Yeah, I just got a funny feeling. Like I’m not gonna see her again.

AP, hearing this, stops his activity with the camera and looks longingly out at the sky, too. Helen puts a hand on Jake’s shoulder.

Helen: (In a soft voice.) Come on, Jake. Let’s move. (14)

View: We see a map of the Americas. A think, red line appears along the map starting somewhere in the United States and heading towards South America making stops along the way. From under the map, we see different views of the plane over water, over land, etc. After a bit, the camera pulls back and we see Jane sitting in a seat on the plane with Lynn and Daria standing on either side of her holding the map stretched out. Quinn’s looking on in half interest. After a second we see Jane pull out a large red marker from underneath the map.

Jane: See?

Daria: You’re right. The map is pretty thin. You can see marker right through it. (15)

Ext. View: Some hell hole airport in the middle of no where. The Butterfly is powering down at the end of the dirt runway next to a run down hanger complete with torn winsock. A small village sits near by also. The door of the plane opens and we see Daria stick her head out, squinting in the bright light.

Daria: Well, we’re not in Kansas any more. (16)

Lynn: (Complete deadpan.) Ha ha. Very funny. (In a more normal tone of voice for her.) You know how I feel about movie quotes. Now hurry up and get out the door.

Daria: (Looking down.) Hold on. It’s a long way down.

Daria climbs down from the plane and then turns and helps Jane and Lynn down from it. Quinn sticks her head out, takes a look around and looks completely disgusted.

Quinn: EWW! Where are we?

Jane: (Also looking around.) Someplace you’ll never see mentioned in any of your fashion magazines.

Quinn: (Still disgusted.) Good. (Beat.) Look at all the foreigners.

Lynn: Here, we are the foreigners.

Quinn: I’m not a foreigner.

Lynn: Quinn, you are in a foreign count…

Daria: (Holding up a hand.) Don’t. It’s not worth the trouble. (17)

Mary Sue: (She sticks her head out of the doorway besides Quinn.) Don’t go too far. We’re just stopping for fuel and to do a quick check on the engines.

Jane: Don’t worry. We’re just here to sample the local five star eating establishments.

Quinn: (Perking up.) Do you think there are any here?

Daria: Yes, Quinn. Every third world hole in the wall town has two or three.

Quinn: (Excited.) Good, let me go get changed. (She turns to go back into the plane.)

The other three just roll their eyes as Daria reaches up to snag Quinn to pull her along with them.

Ext. View: An old metal army hut with a service window cut into it along the side surrounded with chalkboards as menus. The window serves as a counter. The four are seated at a table made out of a large telephone wire spool turned on it’s end and are sitting on cement blocks doubling as chairs. A large cheese
pizza sits in the middle of the table.

Daria: (Looking on in disbelief.) Pizza.

Lynn: (Ditto.) In the middle of nowhere.

Jane: (Also in disbelief.) Hundreds of miles to get here and we have pizza to eat.

Quinn: (Not understanding.) What’s so strange about that?

Quinn grabs a slice and starts picking the cheese off of it. The other three just look at her in amazement, shrug, and then start eating as well. (18)

Int. View: The Butterfly’s cockpit. We see Mary Sue in the pilot’s seat wearing her headset, one hand on the plane’s wheel, and talking into a hand mike.

Mary Sue: That’s affirmative, El Borzo. Heading of 135, attitude 5500 feet. Flight 372 out.

Vincent climbs into the cockpit and sits down in the co-pilots seat as Mary Sue finishes up her chat with traffic control. She nods to Vincent as she replaces the hand mike and removes her headset from one ear.

Vincent: Doing OK?

Mary Sue: Doing fine up here. On time, on course, and on schedule. Can’t get that from a commercial carrier now a days. (Beat.) I am grateful though for the extra fuel tanks the foundation added during the rebuild though. (She looks at Vincent.) It’s been a long time, Vincent. (A small smile plays across her face.)

Vincent: (He also smiles.) It sure has. (19)

Mary Sue: (Looking back at her controls and at the sky, her smile disappears.) A group of kids, Vincent?

Vincent: (Shrug.) Jane is my daughter. The rest are her friends from school. (He thinks for a minute.) Well, maybe not Quinn. There seems to be some type of wall between her and the rest of the group.

Mary Sue: Oh, they’ll get along soon enough. Being in the middle of nowhere will break down the barriers. (Picks up a clipboard and checks something off of it.) Um, did you see all the luggage she brought aboard?

Vincent: Yup. (Thoughtful.) It’s not a problem for you, is it?

Mary Sue: (Quickly shakes her head negatively.) Nah, we’ll have a good chunk of fuel left once we get there. (Beat.) Is it a problem for you?

Vincent: I don’t know yet.

Mary Sue: (Beat.) Want it to be?

An evil grin appears on Mary Sue’s face as they look at each other. They sit there for a few seconds until it hits him what she is suggesting and a smile appears on his face also.

Mary Sue: (Pulling her headset off of her head.) Think you can handle the Butterfly?

Vincent: (Picking up his own headset, placing his hands on the copilots wheel, and looking over the controls.) Piece of cake. I’ll give you a minute or two to get back there.

Mary Sue winks at him and heads back to the rest of the plane.

Int. View: Inside the fuselage of the plane. Stacks and stacks of boxed supplies fill the body held down with webbed cargo netting. The sounds of the engines are quite loud but not enough not to be heard. Quinn is in one of the passenger seats towards the front doing her nails, Lynn is spread across one of
the cargo piles asleep, Daria sits besides her trying to read, and Jane is in a corner drawing the scene. Daria drops the book into her lap in frustration.

Daria: (Sighs and takes a look at Lynn.) I don’t know how you can sleep over the sound of those engines.

Lynn: If I can sleep through you and Jane’s snoring, I can sleep through anything.

Daria looks at Lynn again and turns away in disgust.

Mary Sue comes into the fuselage holding on to the ceiling, nods to Jane, and finds room on the crate next to Daria to sit down.

Mary Sue: Doing ok?

Lynn: Peachy.

Daria: Keen.

Mary Sue: Can you two help me out a bit?

Lynn raises her head and they look at Mary Sue.

Together: Huh?

Mary Sue just winks as the plane’s engines start to make rough noise.

Vincent: (From the cockpit.) Something’s wrong with the engines. We
need to lose some weight!

Mary Sue looks again to Lynn and Daria and understand appears on their faces.

Ext. View: In the air seeing the plane from the outside. We see something on the side of the plane open and lots of little items fall away from the plane. We can almost hear a cry of pain.

Int. View: Inside the plane. Quinn is standing by a window looking out. Lynn and Daria are standing there with a couple of empty suitcases besides them. Jane is trying hard not to laugh while Mary Sue watches the scene.

Quinn: You threw all my cosmetics out the window!

Jungle View: A small bunch of monkeys sitting around in the trees trying on makeup. Some of them are yelling at each other trying to decide who is cutter.

Ext. View: The plane flying through the dark, stormy sky. A bolt of lightning passes the plane in the distance.

Int. View: Daria is sitting in a chair holding onto a semi filled barf bag with Lynn sitting beside here. Jane and Quinn share the seats behind them.

Daria: I shouldn’t have had that last slice of pizza.

Lynn: (Trying to comfort in her own way.) Just don’t think about food right now.

Jane: (Leans over the back of the chair.) Hey, can one of you hand me that bag of chips in front of you?

Daria hurls again into the barf bag. Lynn glares at Jane.

Jane: (Not a clue.) What?

Lynn glares a tad harder at Jane and Daria tries to contain herself. Jane sits back down with out her chips.

Int. View: The cockpit. We see Mary Sue muttering under her breath.

Mary Sue: Spring like weather… Not a cloud in the sky… Nearest storm hundreds of miles away… They can take their weather forecast and shove it up their…

Ext. View: Back to the outside view of the plane. A bolt of lightning drowns out Mary Sue’s last words from her previous line. After a second, another bolt of lightning hits one of the wings.

Int. View: Back inside. The plane goes a hard jump as the lights begin to flicker.

Mary Sue: (Off screen from the cockpit.) Oh damn.

Ext. View: The plane. Another bolt hits the same place.

Closeup View of the plane’s wing. We see one of the engines burst into flame.

Ext. View of the plane: Both engines come to a halt.

Int. View: The cockpit. Mary Sue gets up a bit to look out the window to see the damage done by the lightning. Red lights and alarms are going off like crazy. Vincent is not doing too well either sitting in the copilot seat.

Vincent: How bad is it?

Mary Sue: Bad. (Turning to the back and yelling.) If you haven’t done so already, I suggest buckling up. (Turning back to the control panel and beginning to fiddle with it.) Just keep her steady, Vincent.

Ext. View: A close up of the two stalled engines. The outer one is still on fire. After a second, white powder starts shooting out of it. It takes a bit until the fire is stopped.

Int. View: The cockpit. A slight smile goes across Mary Sue’s face as she is again looking out the window. Half the red lights go out.

Mary Sue: Now, if we can just start one of those engine again…

Vincent: (Pointing forward white as a ghost.) Mary…

Mary turns and looks out the front window. She turns also white.

Ext. View: From behind the plane, up head we can see nothing but darkness. A bolt of lightning shows us off in the distance the top of a tree covered mountain.

Int. View: Close up of Mary’s face.

Mary Sue: Oh, shit…

Int. View: The rear of the plane. The camera is focused on the four girls.

Mary Sue: (From off screen yelling.) Hang on, we’re gonna hit!

Lynn and Daria look at each other in panic. They look forward and “duck and cover.” We then see a hand from both of them reach out to grab each other.

Ext. View: The plane gets close to the mountain…

Int. View: The camera does a close up of Lynn’s and Daria’s hands. We can see their knuckles turning white.

Ext. View: The plane gets closer to the mountain…

The scene fades out and then we see:

To be continued…

***The End***

Jane: (Voice over.) Next time on Dr Mike’s the Jungle series:

The camera pulls left to right in the following three scenes. There is no music but we can here the wind blowing.

*A large amount of metal and rubber broken bits scattered over what is now a jungle clearing. Smoke drifts around the debris and the broken trees.

*A large pile of stones that’s about 6 feet long. There’s a cross made out of 2 sticks at one end of the pile. Some more smoke drifts by.

*Another bunch of metal and rubber debris. After a second, a pile moves and we can see a female, bloody hand reach out from under the pile. As we fade out, we see the Canadibrit Title screen with Daria and Lynn’s heads in 2 connected circles. The circles pull back and we see in Daria script: “Daria in the Jungle.
Part #2. Coming soon…”


1.) In Canadibrit’s fanfic universe, Quinn (and Stacy) have quit the Fashion Club due to Quinn’s dating of Ted who Sandi sees as a geek.
2.) Ok, let’s do the math here. A typical Babylon 5 episode is about 47 minutes without the commericals. 47 times 15 episodes would be 705 minutes or 12 hours. Plus time for rewinding the tapes, etc., I would think that that would work out to be about 13 hours.
3.) Taken from a Babylon 5 episode.
4.) Thanks Crazy Nutso for the suggestion.
5.) It seems like every teacher or principle has something on their desk that defines them. Ms. Li had her Buddha, my old high school principle had a stuffed squirrel, etc.
6.) Footnote saved for Canadibrit for later use. She’s planning on documenting all of AP’s methods some time in the future.
7.) Suggested by Canadibrit.
8.) I forget the author but someone suggested one of Jane’s sisters going thru a chainsaw stage with their art. If someone can remember, I’ll rewrite this later on. Thanks.
9.) Thanks to the members of the #daria+ IRC channel for the correct spelling of this phrase.
10.) Jane has a coffee machine in my fanfic universe. Shouldn’t we all?
11.) I wonder where I got that from? 🙂
12.) I spent a summer working on restoring an old B-24 Liberator at a museum in Maine. The nose artwork and the name is my own idea though.
13.) Always wanted to do a “Mary Sue” character. 🙂
14.) Taken from the third (or sixth) Star Wars movie. It’s when Han Solo and Leia are prepping the Imperial shuttle and Han looks out thru the windscreen over his old ship.
15.) You know what I’m talking about. In the old movies, a long trip would be shown as a red line going across a map with pictures of the trip shown over the map on another layer. It was a cheap special effect back then and was used a lot.
16.) Taken from the movie, “Wizard of Oz.”
17.) Long story. I’m from Maine originally and I went on a retreat back in high school towards the northern part of the state. One night we decided to cross the border into Canada to buy some doughnuts. This girl who came along couldn’t get it through her head that, since she was an American, she was no a foreigner in another country. We tried for about 15 minutes until we finally just gave up. To her, the Canadians were the foreigners.
18.) A scene I remember from the movie, “Captain Jack.” The family is on an island in the Caribbean and they go off to find lunch. They wind up eating at a hamburger stand.
19.) Hmm, I wonder what that is about.


Well, here it is. The first part of my long awaited, often mentioned, no one ever believed that it was ever going to come out, Daria fanfic series.

This work was started back a few months ago and actually almost finished when the computer it was stored on was involved in a problem with moving. It was created again from scratch starting on or about September 1st, 2000 and finished on September 9th, 2000. It was written completely in Microsoft Word 95, 97, and 2000, which I hate with a passion. Once again Canadibrit proofread it for me which I am grateful for.

I have changed my writing style now and am looking for feedback about the changes. For my first three fics, I just sat down at the computer and wrote the entire in order as presented. For my previous piece, Pairings, and this one, I created a time line, broke it down into parts and sections, wrote each section
individually, usually by hand, and put them together to create the piece, proofing the entire thing both as a whole piece and in 5 page sections. Usually the sections were still created in the order as presented but, especially with this piece, additional sections were brought in and added to fill space or give more balance.

For the record, the B-24 Liberator as a total of four prop engines, 2 on each wing. That’s why we see two of the engines go out when the lightning hits.

I have had to move my site. It is still being created at this time and will hopefully be larger within the week. Most of the new stuff is sitting here on a zip drive waiting to be uploaded. You may find it at:

So, what’s next? Cynic Beach definitely followed by part #2 of the Jungle series.

Until next time. Same Daria time, same Daria station!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *