Iron Chef: Double your pleasure, double your fun...

The Challenge:

Write a fic (short, long, whatever) that shows either...

1. What would've happened if Jane and Daria hadn't ditched the Ruttheimer twins, Brett and Brad, during "Daria Dance Party."

or

2. What would happen if the girls ran into the twins later on. (This can take place post-IICY or just post-third season.)

Extra brownie points if you can somehow sneak in a Doublemint gum reference!

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may each kiss your brides," the minister finished with a small smile for the newly wed couples. Brad and Brett grinned at their new wives as they leaned in for that first kiss.

The doors flew open and the audience in the church turned as one. Jane's and Daria's eyes grew wide as their gaze fell on a crazed Upchuck, missing for six years, as he stagered through the doorway. He had gone missing once he had discovered his cousins' interest in the girls vowing to return when the time was right.

"If I can't have them, then no one can," he screamed as he lifted the AK-47 to chest level and fired off a burst towards the altar.

Daria and Jane reacted at the same time, pushing Brad and Brett to the ground. Daria felt a pair of slugs tear through her gown, one nicking the back of her boot she had insisted on wearing to the service.

"Daria, I knew you couldn't wait for your first climax but don't you think that this is a bit much?" yelled Jane from behind a near by pew and she held her new husband.