Daria Fanfiction – Daria Saves Christmas – Chapter 1

daria.jpgCan Daria and Jane save Christmas or is it too late? A work in progress.

The pimple faced Air Force private peered into the green screen of his Radar station. A solitary green blip reflected back at him. He watched for a moment as it approached the North American mainland from over the polar icecap to the north. He gulped and twisted his head in every direction looking for a superior that he could verify the next step. He had been trained over and over again for months in the correct procedure but now that it had finally arrived, he paused in confusion and fear. He gulped again, reached out with a hand shaking hard, lifted the clear plastic cover on his panel that he had nightmares about, and pressed the red button down with a thumb.

Rear Admiral Benefib paced back and forth in the well appointed study, frequently wiping at his face with a now damp handkerchief. With every pass, he turned to look at a screen set in the wall, the advancing blip centered on it as it approached the country he had sworn to defend. He turned with a snap as the door opened and a man dressed in a very expensive suit, a Santa hat, and a very large glass of bourbon in a hand was escorted in by two well-dressed men outfitted with dark glasses and earphones.

“Mr. President, we’ve…”

“Woo-hoo, it’s Christmas! And I’m the President!”

Rear Admiral Benefib paused, took a breath, and tried again with a bit more force in his voice. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs but he controlled the fear building inside of him. “Mr. President, we’ve…”

“Daddy’s money may have fixed both elections but I’m still the President!” He stopped in front of the officer and poked him with a finger. “If I told you to invade France, you would have to do it. If I told you that I wanted ribs for dinner, you’d ask me how many pounds. Why? Cuz, I’m the President!”

The Admiral thrusts a hand towards the screen. “Mr. President, we’re tracking what we think is a nuclear missile approaching the United States. We need you to authorize a response.”

“I wonder if my daughters have any more booze. I’m sure they do.” The President turned to leave the room.

“Mr. President, we may be facing an attack against the country and you need to do something about it,” Benefib nearly yelled at his boss but he no longer cared. He wasn’t going to be the one blamed for the possible deaths of millions.

The President turns to the screen and his eyes goes wide. “Woo-hoo! An attack? Well, we better do something about it!” He swayed a bit but the two Secret Service agents kept him upright.

“That’s what I’m asking you to do, Sir.”

“Better call the Army! The Air Force! The Navy! The Girl Scouts!”

“Sir, we don’t need the Girl Scouts.”

“But I’m hungry,” the President whines. “They make wonderful cookies.”

“Sir, what do you want to do about the attack?”

He threw up a hand over his head in a drunken gesture. “Blow them out of the sky!”

“Sir, it may be an airliner gone off course. We can’t…”

“I’m the Governor… I mean the President. Blow them out of the sky!” With that, the most powerful man in the world fell to the floor in a drunken heap. The other three men looked down in disgust as the Admiral lifted a phone, whispered a command, and they turned as a group towards the screen. We see two additional blips, traveling fast, approach the first blip which now tries to dodge. A dogfight followed quickly resulting in the disappearance of the first blip. After a moment, the phone rang. The Admiral answered it, listened for a moment, nods, and replaced the handset.

“The attack has been adverted. They have downed the craft.”

“Where did it crash?” asked one of the Secret Service agents.

“The town of Lawndale.”

All three men turned again to the screen and looked at it in silence. One of the agents looked confused after a moment.

“What state is Lawndale in?”

“No idea.”

Can Daria and Jane save Christmas or is it too late? A work in progress.

The pimple faced Air Force private peered into the green screen of his Radar station. A solitary green blip reflected back at him. He watched for a moment as it approached the North American mainland from over the polar icecap to the north. He gulped and twisted his head in every direction looking for a superior that he could verify the next step. He had been trained over and over again for months in the correct procedure but now that it had finally arrived, he paused in confusion and fear. He gulped again, reached out with a hand shaking hard, lifted the clear plastic cover on his panel that he had nightmares about, and pressed the red button down with a thumb.

Rear Admiral Benefib paced back and forth in the well appointed study, frequently wiping at his face with a now damp handkerchief. With every pass, he turned to look at a screen set in the wall, the advancing blip centered on it as it approached the country he had sworn to defend. He turned with a snap as the door opened and a man dressed in a very expensive suit, a Santa hat, and a very large glass of bourbon in a hand was escorted in by two well-dressed men outfitted with dark glasses and earphones.

“Mr. President, we’ve…”

“Woo-hoo, it’s Christmas! And I’m the President!”

Rear Admiral Benefib paused, took a breath, and tried again with a bit more force in his voice. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs but he controlled the fear building inside of him. “Mr. President, we’ve…”

“Daddy’s money may have fixed both elections but I’m still the President!” He stopped in front of the officer and poked him with a finger. “If I told you to invade France, you would have to do it. If I told you that I wanted ribs for dinner, you’d ask me how many pounds. Why? Cuz, I’m the President!”

The Admiral thrusts a hand towards the screen. “Mr. President, we’re tracking what we think is a nuclear missile approaching the United States. We need you to authorize a response.”

“I wonder if my daughters have any more booze. I’m sure they do.” The President turned to leave the room.

“Mr. President, we may be facing an attack against the country and you need to do something about it,” Benefib nearly yelled at his boss but he no longer cared. He wasn’t going to be the one blamed for the possible deaths of millions.

The President turns to the screen and his eyes goes wide. “Woo-hoo! An attack? Well, we better do something about it!” He swayed a bit but the two Secret Service agents kept him upright.

“That’s what I’m asking you to do, Sir.”

“Better call the Army! The Air Force! The Navy! The Girl Scouts!”

“Sir, we don’t need the Girl Scouts.”

“But I’m hungry,” the President whines. “They make wonderful cookies.”

“Sir, what do you want to do about the attack?”

He threw up a hand over his head in a drunken gesture. “Blow them out of the sky!”

“Sir, it may be an airliner gone off course. We can’t…”

“I’m the Governor… I mean the President. Blow them out of the sky!” With that, the most powerful man in the world fell to the floor in a drunken heap. The other three men looked down in disgust as the Admiral lifted a phone, whispered a command, and they turned as a group towards the screen. We see two additional blips, traveling fast, approach the first blip which now tries to dodge. A dogfight followed quickly resulting in the disappearance of the first blip. After a moment, the phone rang. The Admiral answered it, listened for a moment, nods, and replaced the handset.

“The attack has been adverted. They have downed the craft.”

“Where did it crash?” asked one of the Secret Service agents.

“The town of Lawndale.”

All three men turned again to the screen and looked at it in silence. One of the agents looked confused after a moment.

“What state is Lawndale in?”

“No idea.”

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