"Jane. I've got to tell you something."
"Oh what is it now? Oh wait. Let me guess. You kissed my boyfriend. Big surprise there. You just had to go up to him and plant him one. Next thing you'll be telling me is that licking penguins is hazardous to your health. God Daria. I don't know where you get..."
Daria looked shock. "No, Jane. Where would you get that idea?"
"Oh sorry. What we're you going to say?"
"I found a boyfriend. He's smart and caring and is everything I've ever dreamed of."
"When do you get to meet him?"
"Here's right over there."
"Daria. You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"
(Not the best of the ones I've done but I've been programming all day.)
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