Double-O Sixty-Nine – 2


Based on this work Double-O Sixty-Nine. We get to see Jane on one of her missions.


“You know. You’ve got a really nice place here. It’s got a kind of retro super villain thingie going on. Real James Bond like thing. And that goatee. Very evil looking, Mr. Tag.”

“Oh, be quiet. I know who you are, double-o sixty nine.”

“I told you. My name is Lane. Jane Lane. I was just looking for something to paint a picture of.”


“I’m sorry but I just have to ask. What’s with all these guys wearing penguin costumes?”


“Those are my trusty, faithful henchmen.”

“Actually, we’re just temps. *SQUAWK!* From We Are Labour.”

“Mr. Tag told me that he would write me a recommendation for college if I did a good job and acted evil and made sure his plan worked.”


“He only promised me an autograph!”

“But they’re still my henchmen!”

“Sure. As long as you sign our tickets at the end of the day.”


“Henchmen, huh? How come you have them dressed up in penguin costumes?”

“It’s their uniform. Can’t have a Take-Over-the-World scheme without henchmen in uniform. It just isn’t done.”


“Ah huh. I bet the flippers get in the way, huh guys?”


“They were part of the costume.”

“*SQUAWK!* They’re a bitch. *SQUAWK!*”

“I wouldn’t get my deposit back if they didn’t have their flippers.”

“So… What’s all this for, anyway?”


“Oh, I couldn’t tell you that. You already know too much already.”

“*SQUAWK!* He wants to take over the world’s supply of Limburger cheese. *SQUAWK!*”

“Limburger cheese? OK… I’ll go ahead and bite. Why?”

“Because I can, OK? I can use that Limburger cheese to take over the world! BAH *SQUAWK!* HAH *SQUAWK!* HAH!”

“OK, I think I can see where this is going. Well, thanks for this most interesting chat and all that but I must really be going. Have to go catch a real super villain. So if you could just untie these ropes.”

“What do you take me for, a fool?”

“Your evil plan is to take over the world with a supply of Limburger cheese. What do you want me to say? Anyway, my partner in crime has been attaching explosive devices to your storehouse of *snicker* world destroying cheeses and I don’t want to be around when this place goes up.”


After a few moments of a brutal fight scene when our hero gets away from the flipper wearing henchmen, we then see Jane on the back of a speeding motorcycle driven by our other hero, the Cynic-Q. (Say it out loud. Sounds kind of neat.) The evil lair is exploding in the background of course.

“So what was his evil plan?”

“Something to do with Limburger cheese.”

“Mr. O’Neill is going to love when I turn this into a Melody Powers work.”

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