US government employee get busted for viewing porn but gets his job back with a raise.
Read about it here.
Actualy makes sense to me. He should have been given a warning first if that's what the department has done in the past with other cases. It doesn't say for how long he had been doing it though.
A short piece where Daria gets to do some computer programing for Quinn and Jane.
Read it. You'll understand it at the end. :)
Daria looked in amazement once again at her sister and her best friend sitting side by side at Daria's computer. They had been there for ages now and neither one of them had given her the slightest clue as to what they were up to. She sighed under her breath and sat down on the floor of her bedroom with the glass of milk and plate of cookies that she had just gone downstairs for. After a sip of milk and a bite of cookie, she picked up her copy of "Nuclear War: What's In It For You?" written by the Ground Zero War Foundation and began reading again.
"Daria? We need your help," Quinn asked while her view stayed glued on the screen.
"Really? You two seem to be doing fine without me."
"Oh, come on Daria. Quinn had this great idea for a boyfriend tracker and we've been doing the coding. But we're stuck."
"I want to call it `Your Boyfriend' but Jane wants to call it `List of Stinky Guys I've Known Since Grade 1.' I like my title better."
"A boyfriend tracker? Well, I guess with the number of boyfriends that the two of you go thru, I guess maybe that's a good idea." She stood and came up behind them, peering into the screen. "What's the problem?"
"Well, we're writing this code..." Quinn started in.
"You two are writing code?" Daria's eyebrows went up.
"Quinn got Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie..." Jane explained.
"Jamie? I thought his name was Jamiel."
"..Jamie to write the code for us and Upchuck debugged it. Problem is Upchuck made all sort of improvments..."
"He added a field for the number of fats food resturant toys a boy has. Who cares about that?" Quinn pouted.
"Now we've got to get rid of all this extra garbage stuck in here and..."
"...And who cares what music they listen to. When I'm on a date with them, we get to listen to the music that I want to."
"...make the program simplier," Daria filled in. She wacked the arms of Quinn and Jane. "Move over."
Daria was quickly cutting and pasting. Quinn and Jane took a moment to look around the room. They spy the snack sitting on the floor and quickly eat up the goodies.
Daria turns with a smirk.
"Jane? Quinn? I've KISSed Your Boyfriend."
[...]"Men in Mexican military-style uniforms crossed the Rio Grande into the United States on a marijuana-smuggling foray, leading to an armed confrontation with Texas law officers, authorities said Tuesday."[...]
Read it here.
Dear lord...
It's the Hamster Dance!
Written for a thread on PPMB. Daria has to cure Jane's hiccups. Includes a special guest.
"Daria, I've got *HIC!* the damn *HIC!* damn hiccups. Please *HIC!* scare me *HIC!* so they'll go *HIC!* away," Jane pleaded.
Daria rolled her eyes, reached into her locker, pulled something out of it and handed it to Jane.
"What is... Cheese *HIC!* dip? What am I *HIC!* suppose to do with *HIC!* cheese dip?" Jane questioned.
Daria closed her locker with a bang. "Be right back." Daria turned and left leaving our poor Jane to suffer.
Shortly a large nosed warrior dressed in orange skins. Across his back hangs two swords and the remains of a VCR tape case are tied to his chest. He spies Jane holding the cheese dip and rushes to her.
Jane's scream is short lived as it's interrupted with a "Did I err?"
Microsoft is spending $120 million US dollars in an attempt to promote itself as a small business.
Okay...
How many other small businesses have over 60 thousand employees located in over 100 countries?
First read about it here with a funny comment on how Jon Stewart would tell the story here.
Here's how One Microsoft Way looks like from orbit.
BEAVER FALLS, Pa. (AP) -- A 17-year-old high school student said he was humiliated when a teacher made him sit on the floor during a midterm exam in his ethnicity class -- for wearing a Denver Broncos jersey.
Read about it here.
From the BBC News Department:
An Australian couple who picked up an odd-looking fatty lump from a quiet beach are in line for a cash windfall.
Leon Wright and his wife took home a 14.75kg lump of ambergris, found in the innards of sperm whales and used in perfumes after it has been vomited up.
Read about it here.
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