A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away I used to write Daria fanfiction. There’s some stuff that I would love to finish some day. And there’s some stuff that I wonder why I even wrote. (No, I’m not linking to any of that stuff.)
I wrote some cross over stuff with Daria in the Star Trek universe. I got a chuckle with most of it. I probably should go over to the Daria Wiki and add it in there.
Some of it was fairly simple (and short) stuff where I made fun of the salt shakers as medical instruments. And another where I just copy and pasted over the script for Star Trek 3. (OK, I’ll admit it. Did anyone notice I was poking fun at the second season episode Arts ‘N Crass? There’s only one line in there to point it out but you should catch it if you pay attention.)
Anyway one of my favorite works was where Jane Lane does the Kobayashi Maru sim from Star Fleet Academy. I find myself writing Jane to be a bit more humorous than she was in the show. Some folks liked it. Some didn’t.
Daria, dressed in a silver jump suit walks through a Lawndale High corridor. We hear the following voice over as she slides on a pair of elbow pads and straps on a helmet, tucking her hair underneath.
VO: It’s been said that the test of a woman’s courage is how she performs in the face of danger. Well, in the next half hour, you’re gonna meet a very unique breed of cat. The kind of woman who doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. Daria Morgendorffer, part-time high school student, full-time daredevil. A woman willing to risk her life for the sake of adventure. She has to chase it, confront it, and whip it. Daria Morgendorffer, Danger Seeker!
She stops directly in front of Jane and takes a deep breath. Jane is inquizative with the strangely dressed Daria.
“Jane, I kissed your boyfriend.”
Daria turns and runs like a bat out of hell as Jane’s mouth drops.
Daria took a sip of her soda. It had been an easy day for the most part as she glaced over her ticket screen. A couple of plug ins she had to install for some of her users, a small bug report, and someone asking for an extention on their bill. She wondered what was for dinner as she opened her next ticket.
“Something doesn’t work on my website. It’s real annoying. Fix it.”
Daria paused. Now that was different. No wonder the techs with the company she outsourced her level one tech support had forwarded it on to her. She looked to see who submitted the ticket. Daria didn’t recognize the return email address. That was a tad unusual but not unheard of. Might be someone travelling. ‘Oh well’ she thought as she began pasting in her response.
“Thank you for contacting Customer Support. Unfortunately, we are unable to assist you without more details concerning the problem you are having, for example, the URL of the website you are visiting. If you are able to, please submit the webpage you are having the issue with and we will get right back to you. Best regards, etc…”
She didn’t have to wait long for the response.
“That’s why I’m paying you money. Fix the problem I’m having.”
Daria slapped her arm and said, “Die, you unclean spawn of Barch.” She lifted her hand to see the mangled remains of a mosquito.
Quinn looked over. “Ewwwww!!!! Daria, how could you?”
“Don’t worry. We can fix him.” Daria pulled out a device and slowly passed it over the dead blob on her arm. After a few moments, Daria paused and looked at the device. “Oh, my mistake. That’s a salt shaker.” She tossed it over her shoulder, pulled out a second device and began passing that over the blob. This device gave off a siren type noise.