Search Engine Smackdown

I’m sure you’ve head about Google Fight by now where you can Linus Torvalds matches up against Bill Gates or finally prove to yourself that Coke is better than Pepsi by comparing Google results between two different words.

Bringing it to the next level we have Search Engine Smackdown. Using the heavy weights of the Search Engine field, see how much trivia you know about the history of the market.

Vicious Dog Pack kills Gator In Florida

Vicious Dog Pack kills Gator In Florida — Dogs Savage Everglade Alligator

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and
even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty. The alligator,
one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the “apex
predator” in it’s natural eco-system, can still fall victim to
implemented “team work” strategy, made possible due to the tight knit
social structure and “survival of the fittest pack mentality”, bred
into the canines over the last several hundreds of years by natural
selection. See the attached remarkable photograph courtesy of Nature
Magazine.

Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it
from breathing, while the remainder of the pack prevents the beast from
rolling. Not for the squeamish!

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Man falls asleep in church

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?”

“I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg.”

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. “And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?” he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

“Jesus!”, Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

“Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones,” said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. “Who is your redeemer?” he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

“God!” Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

“Right again,” said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, “And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?”

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, “You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I’ll break it in half and shove it up your ass!”

“Amen,” replied the congregation.

Robot Bartender

A man enters a bar and orders a drink.
The bar has a robot bartender. The robot serves him a perfectly
prepared cocktail, and then asks him, “What’s your IQ?”

The man replies “150” and the robot proceeds to make conversation
about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality,
biomimicry,environmental interconnectedness, string theory,
nano-technology, and sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed and thinks, “This is really cool.” He
decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and
comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the
perfectly prepared drink and asks him, “What’s your
IQ?”

The man responds, “about a 100.” Immediately the robot starts
talking, but this time, about football, NASCAR, baseball, supermodels,
favorite fast foods, guns, and women’s breasts.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the
robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and
asks, “What’s your IQ?” The man replies, “Er, 50, I think.”

And the robot says… real slowly… “So…………..ya gonna vote for Bush again?”

Barbie Joke

barbie.jpg

A man goes into a shop to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter, looks at the various models on display and asks the shop assistant in a puzzled way: “Why is Divorced Barbie so much more expensive than the other dolls?” “That’s easy, sir” replies the shop assistant, “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s house, Ken’s furniture…”